Quaker funerals
This may be useful in providing a brief introduction to Quaker funerals for those who have not previously attended a Quaker meeting. At the foot of the page is a suggestion for some introductory words to be spoken at the beginning of the funeral.
Quaker funerals are based, like all Quaker Meetings for Worship, on silent reflection and prayer. Quakers have learned that shared waiting in the divine presence can bring many gifts. Among these are the comfort which is found in the caring support of others, and the beginnings of an understanding of how to move forward in difficulty or grief. Reassurance can come from touching, even briefly, the eternal reality which encloses our little world of space and time.
The Meeting begins as soon as the first people sit down and settle into expectant silence. Relatives and close friends of the deceased can, if they wish, sit together at the front. Two Elders sit facing the gathered group, and are responsible for introducing and ending the Meeting.
After the introduction, the silence may be broken by anyone who feels moved to stand and speak. The contributions might be testimony to the qualities of the person who has died, reflections on the mystery of life and death, vocal prayer or reading helpful passages from the Bible or elsewhere. Whether in silence or in speech, by their attentive thought and prayer, everyone present contributes to the power of the Meeting.
There may be a sense of joy as we celebrate and give thanks to God for the life now completed. For this reason, Quakers do not feel compelled to wear sombre colours.
Towards the end of the Meeting an Elder will give the signal for the coffin to be withdrawn. Finally the Meeting will be closed by the two Elders shaking hands, giving an encouragement for everyone else to do so.
Suggested introduction for a Quaker funeral
At the beginning of a Quaker funeral, it is helpful for someone to give an introduction for the benefit of non-Friends. A suggested form of words is shown below. Feel free to modify this wording to suit your circumstances, or use some alternative.
Friends, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to our dear Friend xxxxx who died on xxxxxx.
I am xxxx and this is xxxx, both good friends of the xxxxx family. The proceedings take the form of a Quaker Meeting for Worship. This is based on silent worship and contemplation. There are two aims in our worship: to give thanks to God for the life that has been lived, and to help the mourners to feel a deep sense of GodÃs presence.
There will be no set prayers or hymns. But the silence may be broken by anyone who feels moved to speak. Maybe you have a prayer to offer or maybe a memory of xxxx that you would like to share. Please feel free to do so, allowing a few minutes pause for reflection between contributions.
The Meeting will last for about half an hour, after which time the curtains around the coffin will be drawn. A few minutes later, we will shake hands as a signal that the Meeting for Worship is ended. We can then greet each other and slowly leave .
So let us settle prayerfully. As we are told in the Quaker booklet of "Advices and Queries", "Accepting the fact of death, we are freed to live more fully. In bereavement give yourself time to grieve. When others mourn, let your love embrace them."